If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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