"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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