You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
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u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
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I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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