you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
