I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
