he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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