Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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