Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just threw up on my dentist
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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