just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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