Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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