these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
