Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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