Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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