that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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