I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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