Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Redeem this text for a blowjob

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex

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(813): View more from Florida

he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there

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(509): View more from Washington

I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.

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(702): View more from Nevada

the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from

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(408): View more from California

If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical

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(951): View more from California

Hows your mom

(626): View more from California

Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk

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