So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
