I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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