I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
