Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
