i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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