I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
