he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
should my penis look like a turkey
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
