Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
