My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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