I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Randomize
