Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Me too!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize