apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she looked like the before picture.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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