If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
