dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I am available for nakedness
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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