Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  i don't like sucking hair

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  (760): i don't like sucking hair http://tfl.nu/yq6x
  Replies (4) Good night (645) Bad night (1453)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.

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  (214): Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again. http://tfl.nu/sc3c
  Replies (5) Good night (1500) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.

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  (703): I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like. http://tfl.nu/tgx7
  Replies (33) Good night (1197) Bad night (2752)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.

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  (940): and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics. http://tfl.nu/usna
  Replies (12) Good night (2500) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.

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  (770): I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass. http://tfl.nu/l3hc
  Replies (17) Good night (761) Bad night (4813)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows

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  (925): I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows http://tfl.nu/02lq
  Replies (9) Good night (3977) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.

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  (416): No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up. http://tfl.nu/0i7a
  Replies (14) Good night (4649) Bad night (2700)
• Favorite

  (351): View more from Massachusetts

  the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.

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  (351): the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me. http://tfl.nu/s3y3
  Replies (5) Good night (4395) Bad night (1252)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.

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  (615): Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success. http://tfl.nu/5s34
  Replies (4) Good night (1497) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.

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  (520): I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special. http://tfl.nu/erlc
  Replies (8) Good night (3539) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"

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  (609): I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies... (1-609): You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award" http://tfl.nu/ecqm
  Replies (3) Good night (860) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.

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  (913): Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list. http://tfl.nu/qsv4
  Replies (1) Good night (512) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.

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  (512): Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now. http://tfl.nu/zy0d
  Replies (6) Good night (368) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch

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  (913): It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch http://tfl.nu/1u6j
  Replies (0) Good night (389) Bad night (187)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.

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  (775): Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up. http://tfl.nu/3l8e
  Replies (1) Good night (474) Bad night (165)

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