i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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