Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?

  (619): View more from California

  hahahahahahahahahahaha

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  (949): Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth? (619): hahahahahahahahahahaha http://tfl.nu/hwol
  Replies (45) Good night (3308) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving

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  (513): some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving http://tfl.nu/s2es
  Replies (12) Good night (577) Bad night (2553)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.

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  (330): I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life. http://tfl.nu/a68j
  Replies (13) Good night (835) Bad night (5199)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar

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  (863): you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar http://tfl.nu/o1eu
  Replies (19) Good night (953) Bad night (5181)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome

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  (801): the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome http://tfl.nu/ugx7
  Replies (14) Good night (5546) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.

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  (605): I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry. http://tfl.nu/w271
  Replies (10) Good night (5312) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.

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  (310): My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute. http://tfl.nu/0bii
  Replies (6) Good night (2784) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits

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  (860): I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits http://tfl.nu/yqhn
  Replies (15) Good night (946) Bad night (4000)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.

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  (908): My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated. http://tfl.nu/0c6p
  Replies (15) Good night (1085) Bad night (4325)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.

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  (716): I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable. http://tfl.nu/tziy
  Replies (6) Good night (2488) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.

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  (717): Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error. (1-717): Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening. http://tfl.nu/753x
  Replies (8) Good night (2353) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.

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  (218): I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now. http://tfl.nu/xd1f
  Replies (7) Good night (511) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.

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  (904): My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy. http://tfl.nu/l9z4
  Replies (19) Good night (3286) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.

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  (+44): I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze. http://tfl.nu/d2nt
  Replies (5) Good night (1203) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips

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  (262): ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips http://tfl.nu/avor
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (287)

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