Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me

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(540): View more from Virginia

The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace

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27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(317): View more from Indiana

Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team

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(601): View more from Mississippi

It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.

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(770): View more from Georgia

She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower

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(410): View more from Maryland

Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement

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