Texts From Last Night

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  (956): View more from Texas

  Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.

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  (956): Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em. http://tfl.nu/08u2
  Replies (74) Good night (3930) Bad night (949)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer

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  (972): i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer http://tfl.nu/kbap
  Replies (12) Good night (758) Bad night (4341)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.

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  (216): She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it. http://tfl.nu/064r
  Replies (13) Good night (6554) Bad night (1307)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago

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  (985): shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago http://tfl.nu/00sj
  Replies (20) Good night (6412) Bad night (1300)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake

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  (443): His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake http://tfl.nu/rol0
  Replies (46) Good night (7467) Bad night (1716)
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  (518): View more from New York

  he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.

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  (518): he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left. http://tfl.nu/59ww
  Replies (38) Good night (1843) Bad night (8560)
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  (661): View more from California

  Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil

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  (661): Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil http://tfl.nu/8mk8
  Replies (10) Good night (1900) Bad night (1289)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.

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  (905): Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are. http://tfl.nu/m18s
  Replies (2) Good night (3179) Bad night (918)
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  (562): View more from California

  Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.

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  (562): Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup. http://tfl.nu/ksxk
  Replies (10) Good night (2650) Bad night (868)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.

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  (608): You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal. http://tfl.nu/so63
  Replies (21) Good night (7233) Bad night (959)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Can I color on your dick again?

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  (907): Can I color on your dick again? http://tfl.nu/t2pd
  Replies (12) Good night (1397) Bad night (626)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.

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  (708): There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed. http://tfl.nu/mzmz
  Replies (3) Good night (1271) Bad night (612)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.

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  (302): Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE. http://tfl.nu/pskj
  Replies (6) Good night (555) Bad night (1427)
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  (818): View more from California

  Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport

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  (818): Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport http://tfl.nu/f771
  Replies (3) Good night (648) Bad night (307)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.

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  (303): Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk. http://tfl.nu/7e65
  Replies (3) Good night (688) Bad night (346)

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