I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.