Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin

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  (617): Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin http://tfl.nu/g5qp
  Replies (6) Good night (940) Bad night (1123)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.

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  (413): Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go. http://tfl.nu/wjr6
  Replies (18) Good night (689) Bad night (1877)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.

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  (765): He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame. http://tfl.nu/5bwq
  Replies (5) Good night (3487) Bad night (957)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.

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  (618): Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil. http://tfl.nu/vn3b
  Replies (3) Good night (1612) Bad night (2050)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.

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  (913): So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof. http://tfl.nu/7fh1
  Replies (8) Good night (2863) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.

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  (778): We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay. http://tfl.nu/xs17
  Replies (16) Good night (1679) Bad night (3027)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.

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  (586): We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds. http://tfl.nu/hj47
  Replies (9) Good night (1934) Bad night (1313)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"

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  (774): You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!" http://tfl.nu/sqoz
  Replies (4) Good night (1823) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex

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  (336): I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex http://tfl.nu/yoqe
  Replies (3) Good night (1232) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.

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  (330): Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving. http://tfl.nu/wsf8
  Replies (2) Good night (980) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on

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  (315): I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on http://tfl.nu/7hrd
  Replies (3) Good night (719) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....

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  (317): I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong.... http://tfl.nu/btjr
  Replies (2) Good night (588) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much

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  (856): i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much http://tfl.nu/7v7v
  Replies (0) Good night (599) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?

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  (714): Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top? http://tfl.nu/jf8l
  Replies (2) Good night (642) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day

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  (206): I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day http://tfl.nu/hum6
  Replies (5) Good night (822) Bad night (327)

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