just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up