apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
