I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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