The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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