you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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