so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
