I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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