Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
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She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
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We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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