Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
