I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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