My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Damn victory sex feels great
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize