I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize