What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
and you fell through a lawn chair
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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