This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
