I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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