it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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