so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
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I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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