we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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