Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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