she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
