Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize