So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Randomize
