my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
