Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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