I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
