he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
