jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
