Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize