I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
