$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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