no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
