Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize